Blending a Family Is Harder Than It Looks

Step parenting can be a thankless job. I’ve had both sets of my parents re-marry and as someone with first-hand experience of being a step daughter, I understand how truly challenging it is to attempt to blend a family. The child never really wants a replacement parent, for they generally already have biological parents of their own. As such, they also will likely have pretty strong loyalties to their biological parents, if they had a reasonably healthy experience growing up with their real moms and dads. Often times, when step parents try to discipline and mentor their step children, their efforts are resented or underappreciated. The children often think “I already have a father or mother, you can’t tell me what to do!”

Some step parents can go a little overboard with their new role and they can arguably worsen their situation, because the child generally will not want this extra attention or guidance. It can be perceived as unwarranted and unwelcome due to feelings of territory concerning parenting rights. I personally didn’t want any input from my step parents when I was still in the house. To this day, nearly twenty years as a step daughter, I struggle with a great amount of the guidance that my step mother has to offer, because I value my mother’s opinion so much more. My mother was the one who primarily raised me, after all.

It’s unfortunate that children are too young and inexperienced on the whole to realize that the decision to blend a family is tough and that a great many sacrifices are being made on behalf of the replacement parents. A legitimate effort is being made to forge a new and healthy family ideal out of a once broken one. Since maturing a bit, I am now able to see the good intentions of my step parents and acknowledge their overall efforts, but I remain loyal to my mom and dad, since they were there in the first place.

Granted, everyone’s family and story is different, but this is what I’ve encountered.